I’ve gone through a bit of loss and grief the last few years, as have many of us, and it has given me a lot of opportunity for personal growth and reflection. It has also taught me how fortunate I am to have so many loving and supporting friends. But all the people in your life cannot change how you feel because I’ve learned it must come from within.
Focusing on mistakes and losses can be detrimental to our well-being and productivity. Here are a few ways to shift your focus away from mistakes and losses:
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and being aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This can help you to focus on the present instead of dwelling on past mistakes or losses. It is challenging, but worthwhile, especially if you’re a parent.
Reframe your thoughts
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of a situation, try to find something positive about it. For example, if you made a mistake, focus on what you learned from it rather than the mistake itself. You do the best you can with what you have in a moment of trauma, stress, grief, or hardship. You can’t blame that person for a mistake you wouldn’t make today.
Practice gratitude
Focusing on what you’re grateful for can help to shift your focus away from negative thoughts and emotions. Keep a gratitude journal or share your grateful thoughts with someone you trust. There is a lot of bad in the world, but if you reflect on it there is also good in each life.
Learn from mistakes
Instead of dwelling on your mistakes, try to learn from them. Ask yourself what you can do differently next time, and use that knowledge to improve yourself and your work. ‘Mistakes are part of learning’ is what my six-year-old always reminds me.
Take a break
Sometimes it can be helpful to take a break and do something you enjoy, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or listening to music. This can help to clear your mind and refocus your thoughts. Don’t be sidetracked with creating the perfect playlist or shopping for a new book, it’s about the break not finding another task or chore.
Seek support
If you are struggling to let go of past mistakes or losses, it can be helpful to talk to someone you trust. A friend, family member, or therapist can provide support and guidance. There is no shame in asking for and needing help. It makes you stronger to work towards this, not weak for choosing it. Honestly, I believe every single person should go to therapy at least once with an open mind.
Remember, making mistakes and experiencing losses is a normal part of life. It’s important to acknowledge and learn from them, but it’s also important to not let them define us or our happiness.