Get smutty images or scenes from Psycho (please stop watching at 0:50 to keep things PG) out of your head right now, buster, because this post is about the tranquility parents find in a simple shower. Not that I’m speaking from experience because my voyeuristic toddler bounces in the doorway watching me shower more often than not. He’s young and modesty hasn’t kicked in yet. But about once a week, I have the opportunity to shower in solitude. Close the door, get out the fancy conditioner that is so delicate it needs five minutes to work its magic on your hair, and listen to the water. Sometimes, the faint sound of someone asking where the butter is escapes through the door jam and I pretend I didn’t hear. No, it’s my time. He’ll find the butter if he keeps looking, even if I could tell him it’s on the middle shelf on the left side behind the eggs.
Showering alone when you’re a newlywed may seem lonely but after an offspring joins the party, it is a welcome moment of peace. Sure, I adore my son in that way that I’m afraid will eventually translate into feeling no woman will be good enough for him. God help him! But I also think that he doesn’t need a full-time emotional assistant, he needs a role model and leader and nurturer. And if getting some alone time, whether it is in a shower or an office full of colleagues, makes that happen then so be it.
Of course, showering alone has its curious moments too. Like when a rubber ducky or pirate ship slides off the corner of the tub and you step on it. Or, not that I’m speaking from experience here, you get out to remember you used the last bath towel when you gave your toddler a bath so you walk to the nursery to steal one of the baby-sized hooded towels knowing you’re behind on laundry. Nope, never happened to me. So lucky too since our baby monitor has a view of the entire nursery. And is web-based for the grandparents to log in so they can check on LB. Yep, relief that’s not me. Yep.
It’s funny how people in their 20’s go off to find themselves and I’m thinking why would they need a year. If they had kids they’d learn to find themselves in under 20 minutes. Last year, I painted a detailed landscape of Cork City for my husband over two weeks just during LB’s nap times. Back in college when I studied Fine Arts, that would have taken me most of the semester. Kids keep us on our toes and, for that, I’m a bit grateful. I need a kick to get going sometimes.
See, I’m far too content with my lot in life. I don’t have much ambition or drive to conquer the world. I blame my functional upbringing and loving parents. They would always tell me, “I’m proud of you even for just waking up in the morning and getting out of bed.” See how something that can really screw a kid up? So, here I am telling LB the same thing, but adding “and not breaking any laws in the course of the day.” just for good measure. He’s bliss in a bucket though. Seriously, it’s like he came with his own agenda and opinions from day one, but he’s also very interested in other people so it balances out. I expected that he’d be like this though since I was too. They called me “a pistol”. I thought it was cute then I grew up and realized my parents hate guns. Hmm. So, no need for me to trek the planet with a backpack and hostel directory because finding myself is as easy as taking a 15-minute shower ALONE.
Any other parents out there feel similarly? Please?
A lot of this, yes. Although having had my kids in my 20’s, in a lot of ways it was my “finding myself” adventure. It’s so easy to immerse yourself in the idea of “mummy”, and all that it implies – a good thing, in my opinion, when they are small, but they don’t stay small and helpless forever. And there comes a point where some alone time is so important for you, and them. 🙂